I am a firm believer that wine is an essential parenting tool. Quite frankly, I feel like I am a better mother after a glass (or two…) and a more loving wife as well. Here are a few reasons why wine is a staple for motherhood.
Increases your patience. How many times can you say “no” or “stop” in a 30 min period without losing your mind? Many more times after a glass of wine.
Lowers your risk of heart disease. Red wine tannins have procyanidins, which prevent against heart disease. Your children are already taking a toll on your heart with their dare-devil antics, so enjoy that glass of Merlot.
Lowers your inhibitions. It allows you to act more like a kid and play games and dress up. It will help you sing Frozen songs at the top of your lungs and have the best dance parties ever.
Increases your libido. I don’t know about you, but at the end of the day with two kids, sex is usually the last thing on my mind. Pouring a nice glass of Pinot Noir could make me a little more frisky. It might give me the motivation to get the kids down earlier and have a little “grown up time.”
Reduces your risk of colon cancer. When was the last time you pooped alone? I can’t remember either. You might hold it thinking “If I can just get them busy with X, I might be able to poop alone!” And then they follow you in any way.
Decreases the risk of cataracts. This will be important when you are looking for that tiny little Apple TV or Firestick remote that your toddler thinks is funny to hide. It will also help you see that Lego on the floor.
Lowers the risk of stroke. So when you find your toddler painting your infant with bright red lipstick, just know that glass of wine is keeping the blood flowing without clots.
Slows brain decline. Maybe you’ll actually remember where your phone or your keys are. Probably not, but it’s worth a try.
A lower mortality rate. So you’ll be around for a long, long time to clean up your baby’s diapers and your baby’s babies’ diapers. At least grandchildren can be handed over at happy hour.
Moral of the story, pour a glass of wine. You’ll be a better mother for it.