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The second you see those two blue lines, your life is changed forever. Throughout pregnancy, you have a restricted diet, your hips widen, your belly gets big, your feet grow. Labor
fucking sucks is intense. And then they put your baby in your arms and shit. gets. real. No book could ever prepare you for the way your life changes and the immense amount of love that you feel for this tiny little being. The “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book contains a wealth of knowledge, and I do recommend everyone get one. (Get yours here.) But here are a few things they don’t tell you in the books…
You’re going to pee your pants. It’s inevitable that at least once, you’re going to completely piss yourself. It might happen during pregnancy. It might happen after. But it will happen. Change your clothes and call your best friend to laugh about it.
The first poop. Nothing can prepare you for the first poop. It basically feels like childbirth all over again, except without the epidural.
Your husband has never looked sexier. There’s something about watching your husband hold your baby that is irresistibly sexy. But then there’s the next thing…
It takes a while to get your libido back. You pushed a watermelon out of your precious lady parts. It will come back, but the fear of anything entering that area is simply terrifying for a little while.
You will never go to the bathroom alone again. It starts by bringing your newborn into the bathroom with you because you are afraid to take your eyes off of them. Then it turns into constant knocking and little fingers under the door. “Mommy, are you pooping?” Well, I’m trying to.
You will do things you said you’d never do as a parent. Co-sleeping. Pacifier. TV. It’s called survival.
You will never be on time again. You can try to start the process of leaving the house a half hour earlier than you would before kids, but it’s guaranteed that someone poops their pants again before you can get out of the house.
Your house will be a mess. Bouncy seats, baby toys, and teethers really distract from the whole Pottery Barn look you had going on.
You will wish for a full nights sleep. And then, when your baby starts sleeping through the night, you wake up a thousand times to check on them.
You didn’t know you could love this much. Sure, you love your husband, your parents, your friends and family. But the love you have for your own child is overwhelming.
Your life will never be the same. But in the very best way possible.
Motherhood is a challenge with all of the sacrifices and changes that happen. Embrace them. It’s all so incredibly worth it!
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