I Am A Good Mother, And So Are You…
Every mom experiences “mom-guilt” as we compare ourselves to the mom next to us who looks like she has it all together. We are all doing the best we can to survive this crazy journey called motherhood! We all want to give our kids the very best and provide the most loving and nurturing home possible.
I’m also pretty sure we all have at least once felt like we were screwing it all up!
Here are some of the many things I have had “mom guilt” about. I always try to remember that we are all making different choices in our parenting styles, but we are all just doing the best job at motherhood that we can!
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And I have a love-hate relationship with it. Sometimes I feel over touched at the end of the day and wish my kid would just take a bottle. Most times I soak up the snuggles and enjoy the special bond that my little one and I are able to share.
Am I any better than a mom who gave their kids formula? Definitely not. And I bet their boobs look better than mine, too.
I am a stay at a home mom.
I went to college, became a registered nurse, worked for several years as a cardiac nurse, and then decided to stay home with my babies. I could be bringing home a better income to help with the bills. But then I would be missing out on these precious memories we are making together as they are growing and learning every day. And being home allows me to take photos and videos of all of the precious moments for Daddy and family to see, too!
Does staying make me a better mom than someone who has their kids in day care? No. And truthfully, I don’t know how working moms do juggle it all! I truly admire them!
Screen time saves my sanity.
We also spend a lot of time reading books, playing games, coloring, tumbling, and playing outside. I’m not sure what parents did before screen time was a thing! We have the Kindle from Amazon. It’s amazing and has a two year warranty that if your kids break it, Amazon will replace it! It’s pretty much the only way my husband and I can enjoy an adult conversation at a restaurant!
I have a glass of wine in front of my kids.
Sometimes, I think it’s cheaper than therapy. And sometimes it’s more than one glass. I know some parent’s don’t drink in front of their kids at all. For me, it’s a sanity saver.
I vaccinate my kids.
Our first pediatrician make me feel very pressured to give my kids their vaccines all at once. I had read about delaying vaccines and brought up the subject at a routine doctors visit. The doctor’s responses were very abrupt and made me feel like I was a bad mom for even discussing it with her. Thankfully, our new pediatrician is open to discussing everything and making informed decisions together.
Every parent has the right to decide what is best for their child. Some moms choose to delay vaccines or not give them at all. As long as they have discussed their options with a licensed heath care professional, they are doing what they think is best for their child.
I feed my kids organic food.
They also eat Wendy’s. My philosophy is “everything in moderation”.
I swear in front of my kids.
And sometimes, my toddler drops an F bomb or another bad word. (I’m working on that. But the dog WAS being an asshole.) Does that make me a bad mom? Hell no. In fact, parti of me is kind of proud that she used the word in the right context!
I spank my kids.
I was spanked and I believe that a pat on the butt helps my kids understand consequences.
Put the phone down. DCF doesn’t need to come to house. I don’t beat them. I spank them.
And let’s be clear here, after repeating myself 10 times, I spank my toddler who knows better and will make eye contact and do exactly what I just told her not to. “Don’t touch that!” Eye contact. Puts pinky on computer. I am just over here trying to raise a decent human.
I have someone who helps me clean my house.
This is mostly because if I’m cleaning one room, my kids are making a mess in another. Does that make me a bad mom because I don’t do enough? No. Would a little dirt hurt anyone? Nope! Trust me, with two kids and a dog, my house has plenty of dirt! I just need a little help controlling it!
The nursery is just a place we dress the kids and change diapers. Some moms swear by the Cry It Out method. For me, co-sleeping is the way I can ensure a good nights sleep. And we all know that sleep is a necessity for raising children!
I had a “natural birth”.
I also had an epidural. Does that make me any better or worse than a mommy who had no meds, a c-section, or birthed their baby in a bathtub in their living room? No way. That baby was going to come out one way or another!
I raise my voice at my kids.
I try to practice Mindful Discipline techniques but sometimes my toddler just won’t listen until I
loose my shit speak more sternly. I try to choose my battles and try to instill thankfulness, kindness, and love in my children.
Sometimes I think that just means I have another child. (Just kidding, honey.) When my husband goes out-of-town just for a few days, I don’t know how single moms do it. I am amazed by women who do it all on their own. Married or not, we are all awesome moms that would do anything for our children.
Motherhood is hard, and it takes a village. Most of us are too busy judging ourselves to judge another mom. How about we hop down from our high horses, cut each other a little slack, and support each other? We are all just trying to do our best in this thing called motherhood. If your kids are loved, clothed, and fed, you’re doing it right.
Hang in there, Mommy! You’ve got this! We are all trying to survive this crazy ride through motherhood!