I Am A Good Mother, And So Are You…

I Am A Good Mother, And So Are You…

I am a stay at a home mom. I went to college, became a registered nurse, and then decided to  stay home with my babies. Does that make me a better mom than someone who has their kids in day care? No.

I drink in front of my kids. Sometimes I think it’s cheaper than therapy. Sometimes, a therapist might have been cheaper. Am I any better or worse than my friends who don’t drink? No.

I vaccinate my kids according the schedule. Are my friends who choose not to vaccinate because of preexisting conditions or delay vaccines any less of a mother? Absolutely not.

I feed my kids organic food. Sometimes, they also eat Wendy’s. Does that make me a bad mom? No.

I swear in front of my kids. And sometimes, my toddler drops an F bomb or another bad word. (I’m working on that. The dog WAS  being an asshole.) But does that make me a bad mom? Hell no.

I spank my kids. I was spanked and I believe that a pat on the butt helps my kids understand consequences. Put the phone down. DCF doesn’t need to come to house. I don’t BEAT them. I spank them. (And let’s be clear here, I spank my toddler who knows better and will make eye contact and do EXACTLY what I just told her not to. “Don’t touch that!” Eye contact. Puts pinky on computer.) I am just over here trying to raise a decent human. Am I a worse mother than someone who doesn’t spank their kids? No way.

I have someone who helps me clean my house. Mostly because if I’m cleaning one room, my kids are making a mess in another. Does that make me a bad mom because I don’t do enough? No. Would a little dirt hurt anyone? Nope!

I co-sleep. The nursery is just a place we dress the kids and change diapers. Some moms believe in the Cry It Out method. Are we any better or worse for it? Definitely not.

I had a “natural birth”. I also had an epidural. Does that make me any better or worse than a mommy who had no meds, a c-section, or birthed their baby in a bathtub in their living room? No way.

I raise my voice at my kids. I try to practice Mindful Discipline techniques but sometimes my toddler just won’t listen until I speak more sternly. But I am still a good mom.

I am married. Sometimes I think that just means I have another child. (Just kidding, honey.) When my husband goes out-of-town just for a few days, I don’t know how single moms do it. I am amazed by women who do it all on their own. Married or not, we are good moms.

One of my parenting strategies and sanity savers is screen time/tv time. Am I a bad mom compared to a mom who doesn’t allow their kids to watch tv? Nope.

I breastfed. Am I any better than a mom who gave their kids formula? Definitely not. And I bet their boobs look better than mine, too.

Motherhood is hard, and it takes a village. Many of us are too busy judging ourselves to judge another mom. How about we hop down from our high horses, cut each other a little slack, and support each other? We are all just trying to do our best in this thing called motherhood. If your kids are loved, clothed, and fed, you’re doing it right. Hang in there, Mommy! You’ve got this!

 

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22 thoughts on “I Am A Good Mother, And So Are You…”

  • I love every bit of this!! Between my sister and me, we have 4 boys 4 and under. We parent very differently (especially for being raised the same), but neither of us is a better parent. And when you said about not knowing how single moms do it… my husband is out of town this weekend and I was thinking that same thing this morning!

    • Thanks for stopping by! We are all just trying to do the best we can! And sometimes we do things just to survive! I don’t WANT my kids in my bed, but I DO want to sleep at night! haha Good luck this weekend! You can do it!!

  • This is so important for all of us to hear! I am on my third child and by now I realize that I may make mistakes and I’m not perfect but I am a good mom and we are all just doing the best we can!! It’s great to stay out of the mommy wars. Thanks for the post and encouragement! We all need a little more self love in our lives!!!

  • I absolutely LOVE this! There is so much judgment and people telling you the “right” way to raise your kids. Just because one parent does something different than the others doesn’t mean that their way is less important. Parenting is hard enough without all the finger pointing! We have a lot of shared values! You rock mama!

  • Fab. I don’t agree with you on everything and that is a good thing! Because it does take a village and we all have different approaches. And we can support each other anyway! So over mothers drowning mothers! After having been drowned a few time, you start to think, can we not all just be doing the best we can???
    So thanks for being so forthright! Beautiful and refreshing!

    • Mom’s can be so hard on other moms, but I think we are hardest on ourselves!It does take a village!

  • Yes, yes, yes! There is no right way to raise children and we all do it differently. It makes me so sad when parents get judged on their choices, especially when it comes from other parents who should know better. Thanks for such a positive post!

  • OMG!!!! HHHHAAAAA I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!!!! YYYYEESSSS LOL!!! There r so many moms out there that thinks they r a better mom brcause they stay home.
    But then they dont believe in nursing, yet, im a working mom, my son goes to daycare and he is 2.5 and i am still nursing him so what does that mean??? Hhhhaaaaa love this!!!! Lol

  • I loved this! I too am an RN that stayed home with her kids for a very long time (9 years!)… I left my husband due to some unbelievably crazy behavior on his end that I was not aware of until all of a sudden I was. The wheels came off the bus in a hurry haha. I wrote a similar post a week or two ago, called mama you are enough . We ARE all enough. Great post!

  • Love your article! I completely agree with #nojudgement
    We are all moms navigating are way on this journey. Let’s support and encourage one another

    From one Nurse to another 😉 Love when I “meet” other nurses

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