I am a stay at a home mom. I went to college, became a registered nurse, and then decided to stay home with my babies. Does that make me a better mom than someone who has their kids in day care? No.
I drink in front of my kids. Sometimes I think it’s cheaper than therapy. Sometimes, a therapist might have been cheaper. Am I any better or worse than my friends who don’t drink? No.
I vaccinate my kids according the schedule. Are my friends who choose not to vaccinate because of preexisting conditions or delay vaccines any less of a mother? Absolutely not.
I feed my kids organic food. Sometimes, they also eat Wendy’s. Does that make me a bad mom? No.
I swear in front of my kids. And sometimes, my toddler drops an F bomb or another bad word. (I’m working on that. The dog WAS being an asshole.) But does that make me a bad mom? Hell no.
I spank my kids. I was spanked and I believe that a pat on the butt helps my kids understand consequences. Put the phone down. DCF doesn’t need to come to house. I don’t BEAT them. I spank them. (And let’s be clear here, I spank my toddler who knows better and will make eye contact and do EXACTLY what I just told her not to. “Don’t touch that!” Eye contact. Puts pinky on computer.) I am just over here trying to raise a decent human. Am I a worse mother than someone who doesn’t spank their kids? No way.
I have someone who helps me clean my house. Mostly because if I’m cleaning one room, my kids are making a mess in another. Does that make me a bad mom because I don’t do enough? No. Would a little dirt hurt anyone? Nope!
I co-sleep. The nursery is just a place we dress the kids and change diapers. Some moms believe in the Cry It Out method. Are we any better or worse for it? Definitely not.
I had a “natural birth”. I also had an epidural. Does that make me any better or worse than a mommy who had no meds, a c-section, or birthed their baby in a bathtub in their living room? No way.
I raise my voice at my kids. I try to practice Mindful Discipline techniques but sometimes my toddler just won’t listen until I speak more sternly. But I am still a good mom.
I am married. Sometimes I think that just means I have another child. (Just kidding, honey.) When my husband goes out-of-town just for a few days, I don’t know how single moms do it. I am amazed by women who do it all on their own. Married or not, we are good moms.
One of my parenting strategies and sanity savers is screen time/tv time. Am I a bad mom compared to a mom who doesn’t allow their kids to watch tv? Nope.
I breastfed. Am I any better than a mom who gave their kids formula? Definitely not. And I bet their boobs look better than mine, too.
Motherhood is hard, and it takes a village. Many of us are too busy judging ourselves to judge another mom. How about we hop down from our high horses, cut each other a little slack, and support each other? We are all just trying to do our best in this thing called motherhood. If your kids are loved, clothed, and fed, you’re doing it right. Hang in there, Mommy! You’ve got this!